dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Randomize
