Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
