I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
