Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
