I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
