Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
