Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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