Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
