Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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