I am puke
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
