I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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