god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
