If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
