Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
