It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Randomize
