I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
