It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
