Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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