is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
