Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
