glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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