why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
