You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize