If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
