do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Randomize
