new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
is it fun? or sober?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
