everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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