What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
