This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
