Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
