WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
