Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
