just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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