he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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