I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
