gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i would one night stand the shit outta him
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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