I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
