whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
