The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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