your thong is hanging out like whoa
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
