He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I want a musical about memes.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
