i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
