The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
