I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
