okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
i believe in u and ur pee
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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