One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
