we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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