Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
