how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
