Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
