My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
