When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Randomize
