Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
