I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
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