i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
