Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
